If you were a teenage girl in late 90s/early 00s, there is a good chance you were obsessed with Dawson’s Creek. I watched it faithfully every Wednesday night until my mom put the kibosh on it and I had to resort to watching it at my friend Dawn’s house during sleepovers, which caused me to fall behind on the storyline, thus FOREVER PUTTING A DAMPER ON MY TEENAGE YEARS. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
ANYway, my friend Alisha and I decided to revisit this magical time in our lives, so we started re-watching the show. While we got sucked right back into the teenage drama and angst, some things did stick out watching it as adults:
1. Pacey dresses like a dad. He’s FIFTEEN. COME ON.
- 15 year-old Pacey
- Typical father
2. They don’t talk like typical high school kids. When I was fifteen, I thought their extensive vocabulary and general OWNING of the English language was sophisticated, and my goal was to speak like them. Re-watching the show as an adult, their language didn’t come off as sophisticated. Instead, they sound like a bunch of socially awkward gifted kids. In one episode, Joey actually calls Dawson a sphincter. She actually uses the word sphincter non-ironically. At my high school, calling someone a sphincter put you on the fast track to eating lunch with the kid who pissed his pants during band practice and the other kid who had a key-chain of two people having sex doggy-style (true stories). Why? Because using the word “sphincter” as an insult makes you look like a fucking loser, that’s why.
3. Joey is a HUGE, catty bitch. We all know that Jen’s a whore, but come on. From the second Joey meets her, she is all, “Are you a size queen?” and, “Are you a virgin, ’cause Dawson is.” For someone living in a small town whose dad is in prison, whose mom is dead, and whose sister is knocked up and living in sin with her–gasp!–blackboyfriend, Joey sure likes to race dangerously on the freeway to becoming a complete social outcast. “Hi, kettle? This is Joey. You’re black.” Also, as Alisha pointed out, she wears poor people clothes:
- There’s Joey, looking all poor and stuff.
4. Dawson is a HUGE goober. He’s just so whiny! In one episode he was PMS-ing over the fact that Jen went to the school dance with a football player and even the look on Joey’s face was all, “Dude, pull the tampon out of your vag and just GO TO THE FUCKING DANCE ALREADY, JESUS.” When I was fifteen, Dawson was my perfect man. Re-watching the show as an adult, he’s still the perfect man…if you like women. Snap! Oh no I di’int!