If you couldn’t already tell, I’ve had teen heartthrobs on the brain lately. Naturally, reminiscing over the Tiger Beat kings of yesteryear caused me to wonder: in a full-out cage match-type of brawl between a teen idol of yore and a teen idol of today, who would win? After the ass-kicking is done and nothing is left but blood, broken bones, and a bruised ego, who would emerge victorious and who would be in the fetal position in the corner, sniveling and sobbing?
Hence, a new blog feature: Teen Idol Beat-Down. Every Monday, there will be a new match, and a winner will be decided via poll. The pros of each fighter will be listed by yours truly, so you can better make an informed decision. Got it? Good. Here we go!
JTT vs. Justin Bieber
Jonathan Taylor Thomas, a.k.a. JTT, won over the hearts of pre-teen girls and confused boys everywhere in the mid- to late-nineties. Every week he entered into homes via Home Improvement, and starring roles in movies such as Man of the House and Tom and Huck served to solidify his teen heartthrob status.
After being discovered on YouTube in 2008, Justin Bieber found success (and a large tween fan base) in the musical realm. The latter part of the millennium’s first decade saw his delicate bone structure and standard skinny jeans cause otherwise normal human beings to go absolutely apeshit at the mere mention of his name.
This begs the question: who would win in a teen idol beat-down, JTT or Justin Bieber?
-extensive knowledge of tools from being on Home Improvement
–short in stature, so he can move quickly
-pouty lips and a killer olive complexion that could make even the most heterosexual of men question his orientation
Justin Bieber: Pros
-delicate bone structure