[shit single girls say when shopping for baby showers]


Last weekend, I went to a baby shower. While shopping for a gift, my friend Ali and I realized we were way out of our element. It was a new and strange world of diapers, onesies, bibs, and burpies. A few snippets from our conversation:
“What does this 1 mean? What’s a 4? Are these levels? As the baby gets bigger, does it go up a level?”  (On trying to figure out what the numbers on diaper packages mean)

“Wait, that baby is a toddler. Get the diapers with a younger baby on them.”

“Are Luvs popular?”

“DON’T get the generic diapers! Shit’ll leak all over!” 

“Wait, she’s having a boy, so maybe we should get out of the girl section.”

“Wait, here’s more diapers!…Oh, those are just wipes, never mind.” 

“God help us if we ever have kids.”

True story on that last one. Considering that my biggest accomplishment in the last six years is learning how to cook, I don’t really have the imagination to fathom how I’ll handle parenting.

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