[my email to the republican party of florida]

Before I get into it, I just wanted to let everybody know that a new Examiner review is up. I visited an African-themed coffee shop. Exotic!
Very rarely do I get so annoyed with an organization or company that I’ll write a letter or email to said organization or company dictating why I’m frustrated. So props to the Republican Party of Florida for driving me to that point with their incessant election mailers. Well done, guys! That’s deserving of a slow clap!

After receiving two more pointless election mailers today, I couldn’t take it anymore. I sent an email. Below is the actual email I sent. I don’t know if I’ll get a response back (I’m guessing no), but it just felt good to get it out. STOP WITH THE JUNK MAIL, DUDES.

Hi there!

Happy Day After Halloween! Here’s hoping you got lots of candy and other goodies and had a lot of Halloween fun! In fact, you may want to grab a Twix, Snickers, or something sweet to chew on because this email is going to be a little sour. I’m writing in regards to the ridiculous amount of election pamphlets junking up my mailbox every single day. 
For the past couple of weeks, every day, I receive 2-3 pamphlets from you, touting the saintly virtues of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan and dissing the Democrats’ wasteful spending. Hey, you know what else is wasteful? THE AMOUNT OF PAPER YOU’RE WASTING MAILING THIS GARBAGE TO ME. And I’m not the only one being plagued with this crap. I’ve talked to friends and neighbors who are receiving more than their fair share of the junk. 
Seriously?! Do you actually think you’ll sway me with this propaganda? Do you think I’m dumb enough to base my vote based solely on facts and quotes taken out of context and radical claims that not even a person with a severe mental disability would believe? I would wager that the barrage of crap you’re mailing out is doing the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what you want it to do: it’s turning people off. It’s turning people off to the party, off to Romney and Ryan, and probably off to the United States Postal Service in general. 
Stop mailing me your stupid election pamphlets. It’s November 1st. I’ve already voted. I’ve been hearing election propaganda from both sides for months, now, and I’m just over everything that has to do with Romney, Ryan, Obama, and Biden. Tell me what I need to do for you to stop bugging me. If I have to move to New York and switch my party affiliation to the Rent is too Damn High Party, I WILL DO IT. 
Sarah Van Blaricum
Anybody else getting too much political junk mail? Send an email! Let’s junk up their inboxes for a change.

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