Dudes, breakups suck. Regardless of who ended it, why it ended, or how long the relationship was in the first place, the idea of something ending that once sounded promising sucks a giant bag of bite-sized dicks.
Why bite-sized dicks? Hell if I know, it just popped into my head, and I thought it sounded funny. How does one even suck a bite-sized dick? Maybe if he or she were a fairy. And by “fairy” I mean the tiny, mythological creatures with wings, NOT gay men. No hate.
Huh? What? Sorry, I got distracted thinking about bite-sized dicks and fairies. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. And I’m not even drinking, y’all.
ANYway, breakups. They suck. And I firmly believe they are the reason why sad bastard music exists. Guys, I LOVE sad bastard music. I listen to it when I’m not even sad because I love it so much and because there are times when it’s appropriate, like when it’s raining or when I’m driving to work on Monday.
To that end, I’ve created a mini playlist of some of the sad bastard music I’ve been listening to recently and some I’ve listened to always because sad bastard music will forever hold a special place in my heart.
This is more of a girl power breakup song than sad bastard music, but it still fits in with the general theme. And for the guys, Beyonce is singing in lingerie for most of it. You’re welcome, fellas.
A friend of mine alerted me to this song after recent events transpired in my own life. The Band Perry gets me.
I love this version better than Bonnie Tyler’s. It’s melancholy and soulful, and I think it best captures how every woman feels when a relationship ends or after a hellishly bad date.
I feel like this is kind of a mix of the Beyonce song and the song above in terms of sentiment.
Not really a breakup song, but still somber. My fave out of the bunch.
And, of course, any ballad from the Peter Cetera Chicago years, Richard Marx, or Bryan Adams.
What are your favorite go-to breakup/sad bastard songs?
P.S. I went back and forth about whether or not to write this post, but ultimately decided to do so because I really wanted to use the phrase, “giant bag of bite-sized dicks.”