So I was going to write a post about pot, but then I saw that the place where I get my eyebrows waxed offers a Brazilian wax with something called Vajazzle and now I’m totally preoccupied by the notion of Vajazzling.
First off, I don’t know what the fuck Vajazzle is, but I’m going to go out on a limb and assume it’s like BeDazzling your vaj.
Secondly, I don’t really know what the point of it is. I’m sure it lends a certain aesthetic quality to your goodies, but I’m also pretty certain that if a dude knows he’s about to gain access into your bejeweled lady garden of love, he wouldn’t recognize your artwork if it shot out disco lights and blared “It’s Raining Men.“
Personally, I like to think it’s like a road map for dudes who don’t know where anything is. (“Hey, Romeo, see that sparkly thing? The sweet spot is two inches south, three o’ clock.”)
I also think the word “Vajazzle” should be said like it has an exclamation mark after it, accompanied with jazz hands.
If I had any musical talent whatsoever, I’d turn The Vagina Monologues into a musical and rename it The Vajazzle! Monologues. It would star Nathan Lane because, weirdly, I think he could pull it off. This could be a good project for Trey Parker and Matt Stone, a good followup to The Book of Mormon. I’d see it.
So, yeah, Vajazzle. Things that make you go hmmmm…