Hi, folks. Just letting you know I will be taking a break from blogging for awhile. Get ready, because this is a sobering post.
My mom is currently under Hospice care. Her health has been in decline for some time, thanks to frontotemporal dementia. And now we’re at the end. In addition to the dementia, she’s got other health problems, and her body just can’t fight anymore. I went home this weekend for a quick overnight to see her while she was still semi-coherent, as she is newly under Hospice care and things haven’t taken a turn for the worst-yet. I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me. She told me it was okay when I couldn’t keep it together any longer and started crying. I showed her pictures of our new dog, Rascal. She said his name. And she asked me about my hair (I got it cut and highlighted the day before). Those were the only things I was able to understand, as the dementia affects her speech and she’s unable to communicate clearly. But it was enough. And I am grateful for those moments, because today was hard. Really hard. She was in distress, crying. Her pain meds hadn’t kicked in. All I could do was hold her hands. Stroke her head. Kiss her forehead, kiss her cheeks. Tell her to breathe, that it was gonna be okay. Telling her the reason I was crying was because I missed my dogs, because I didn’t want to upset her more. Feeling guilty for telling these white lies because this isn’t something she will come back from. And I think we both knew it.
So I’m gonna be taking some time. I may do a few sporadic posts here and there as a distraction, but I think regular posts will be awhile. And, yes, I will post about Rascal, and his adoption story at some point. He’s cute, and I think Ava love-hates him.