[my first sprint triathlon, or, that time my bike failed me]

Two weeks ago, I completed my first sprint triathlon. The difference between a sprint tri and a regular tri is the distance required for each portion. While distances vary with each race, the below is a general rule of thumb (courtesy of TotalTriathlon.com): Sprint Tri  Swim: 0.5 mile Bike: 12.4 miles Run: 5K   Regular Tri…

[sweet baby ray’s : a like story]

I like Sweet Baby Ray’s. It’s my favorite barbeque sauce. But don’t get it twisted: I like it. I’m not obsessed with it. Like, I don’t get on my knees every night and thank the barbeque gods that I got one more day on God’s green earth with their most delicious condiment. I don’t drink…

[earth day pick up lines]

What up, kidz. Nothing much here. Still loving Trader Joe’s. Today is Earth Day, and while it’s not typically a romantic holiday, it’s still a day people are trying to get laid. Because people are trying to get laid everyday, amirite? (source) Earlier today, I was sending T.O. silly Earth Day-themed pick up lines, and…

[i love my friends]

Text message convo between me and Kristina: In other news, I tried that chocolate stout that I got for a wink and a smile at Trader Joe’s last Saturday. It tasted like pure evil. Seriously, it was Satan’s go-to beer of choice. (source) Although I did get tipsy on just a few gulps (disclosure: I…

[more thoughts on dinosaur porn]

I’m going to start this post off by talking about something really sweet and adorable, and then follow it up with something horrendously tasteless. Ready? Let’s get to it. This video has gone viral like a motherfucker: Tatia Pilieva’s “First Kiss” depicts complete strangers kissing for the very first time. It’s at once awkward, sweet,…

[tom selleck goes to see huey lewis]

Tom’s super excited about his floor seat, so much so, that not even a pesky permanent ban will keep him away. Read the story behind the ban, and how he plans to disguise himself, here. Also,  I’m going to link to a site I created back when I first moved to Tampa in 2004 to…

[when whiteness attacks]

My friend David had to school me the other day on Facebook. Friends, this is what happens when whiteness attacks: Me: Damn, the RaceTrac on 54 in Lutz is baller shock collar.   David: I’m not hip to the hop community but I’m reasonably sure it’s “baller, shot caller” in reference to the hurling of the…

[the secret diary of tom selleck]

A couple of years ago, I started a ridic hyperbolic blog about Steve Perry called Lover of Many, Father of None. I started it because I had a lot of downtime at the job in which I was currently working, and I didn’t want to get stuck doing lame-o tasks like labeling envelopes any more…

[i buy stupid shit sometimes]

So, I bought these g-fab babies today: (source) What makes this purchase extra hilar is the earrings themselves were five cents, but shipping and handling was $3.95, upping the total purchase to $4. WORTH. IT. I plan on wearing them to work to see if I get a warning from HR. It is my goal…