[santa’s twilight 5k]

What’s up, playa hatas? How did Christmas treat ya? Did Santa make your heart skip and your eyes gleam with the treasures from his sleigh? Did he get you one of these? If so, can I come over and play with it? My Christmas was momentous in that I tried my very first raw oyster…

[the hangover run]

Last night I cooked dinner for T.O.* and he kept giving me shit about my lack of finesse when it comes to my skills in the kitchen (sometimes you’ve gotta use a vodka bottle when you don’t own a rolling pin, amirite?). So in retaliation I pretended to cut my hand with the filet knife…